


Please Drink Responsibly

by astrangerenters



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Drunkenness, F/M, M/M, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-28 16:56:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/pseuds/astrangerenters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jun throws a birthday party for Aiba. It's pretty much an excuse for drunken debauchery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Drink Responsibly

For years, Aiba had complained about nobody celebrating his birthday. Well, it wasn't easy when his birthday happened to fall on a day when Arashi was always ridiculously busy. But this year, Jun had vowed, this year it would be different. This year they'd celebrate Aiba's birthday properly.

Even with play rehearsals and Arashi activities and Leader's nearly fatal inability to keep a secret, Jun had managed the impossible. But then again, he'd always been so good at planning. With contributions from the other four members, he'd booked an entire floor at The Peninsula Tokyo hotel. He'd also booked a security detail to keep the place locked down and private, coordinated the guest list, arranged for food and drink, and with their managers' help, they'd managed to keep Aiba out of the loop.

It was now the 17th of December, and it was show time. Of course, they weren't able to hold it on Aiba's actual birthday. But Jun was thoughtful enough to fake it. Every calendar in every single room he'd rented at The Peninsula was set to December 24th, and red and green Christmas lights adorned the hallways in a blinking, obnoxious manner that Aiba would adore.

He walked through the special set of adjoining suites that made up the main party room. All of Aiba's favorite foods and snacks, arranged with care on several tables. The new set of golf clubs he and the members had chipped in for as Aiba's present, arrayed thoughtfully in the center of the room. The cakes and cookies shaped like animals, 29 of each kind. Jun had outdone himself. This party would be on par with the moving stage, he was sure of it.

But Leader was always the one he'd had to watch out for, the one he'd had to warn several times not to drop any hints. Even now Leader was late. All of the guests were milling around, co-stars from dramas and plays Aiba had appeared in, co-workers from Shimura Zoo, friends outside the entertainment business. They'd all be escorted out safely or would stay overnight to not be seen by the paparazzi. It was Nino's job to get Aiba to the hotel, and Sho, the party's main financial backer, was already there shoving his face full of giraffe-shaped cookies. Leader was the only no-show.

Jun paced for several minutes as the time for Aiba's arrival drew close. It was only then that Ohno came hurrying into the suite, manager at his heels. Jun approached his Leader with disdain. "Where the hell have you been? We are seven minutes from go time."

"Go time?" Ohno panted, out of breath. Jun knew he didn't have filming for his drama special that day, so what had he been doing? He hadn't even bothered dressing up to celebrate Aiba's birthday, clad in his usual t-shirt and jeans as he handed his jacket to his manager, red in the face and wheezing.

Jun sneered as Ohno held out a grungy looking bottle to him. "What's this?"

"This...this...forgot...give..." Ohno mumbled, even mumbly-er than usual. "...booze."

Jun accepted the bottle. This was why he was late? It was labeled in English, and Jun didn't waste time reading it. "But what is it? What type of liquor?"

"From India!" Leader said with a smile, still trying to breathe. "I bought it back...back when I was filming the movie. I hadn't...hadn't had it yet. Thought tonight...tonight would be a good excuse."

"Well, go get into position for the surprise. We have enough alcohol already."

Jun set it down on the nearest table, and his English wasn't good enough to take note of the "SPECIAL 150 PROOF! BE SURE TO DILUTE!" label on the bottle.

\--

Aiba had been thoroughly surprised, allowing Jun's blood pressure to return to a somewhat normal state. Even if it wasn't his real birthday, it seemed that all the effort had been enough to make him happy. Jun frowned though at the realization that most of Aiba's weird friends from Chiba weren't really interested in the food. Everyone had seemed to figure that staying at the fancy hotel overnight was a good enough reason to get completely drunk, and it was rubbing off on all the celebrity guests.

The party had only been going for two hours, and they were already into the reserves of the vodka and rum. The sake was running low, too. After his eighth giraffe cookie, Sho had insisted that Jun split a bottle of red wine with him, and Jun was feeling a lot less tense as he made his way through the suites, greeting guests and making sure everyone had something to eat or drink.

Aiba was, of course, the center of attention, and some of his cast mates from the Bartender drama were forcing him to make cocktails...and then making Aiba himself drink them. Jun winced as Aiba danced around on top of the bar with the shaker, the crowd of friends and colleagues cheering him on. Luckily Arashi had no activities the following day.

Sho grabbed him by the elbow. "Matsujun, you throw good parties."

Sho had obviously had more than the red wine if the smell coming from his mouth was any indication. "Sho-san, you're wasted already."

"I can hold my liquor," Sho assured him. "I can hold it for Aiba-kun's sake."

"See that you do," Jun said, moving on to find Leader and Nino in the middle of a Kanjani8 gathering. They were doing shots of vodka, and Jun shook his head. Everyone was going to regret this in the morning.

"Ah, Mr. Party Planner!" Yoko shouted noisily. "Join us!"

Jun declined politely. Someone besides the security staff had to stay coherent so nobody got into trouble. "I need to make sure everyone's having a good time..."

Nino yanked Jun into their sweaty inner circle anyway, shoving a sticky shot glass into his hand. Nino was in Nino party mode which made him incredibly handsy. Well, even more handsy than usual. Jun tried to wriggle out of his grasp and nobody in Kanjani8 seemed to notice his discomfort as Nino's hands groped his ass.

Nino licked his lips and smiled at him. "We're going to have a shitty time if you don't do a shot. Because there's a great prize."

Murakami laughed. "I don't think it's such a good prize..."

Nino still hadn't let Jun go, and he had his crazy eyes going. The crazy eyes that Jun knew meant he'd be sticking his finger down Nino's throat in a few hours to help him throw up. "What's the prize?" Jun asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Whoever does the last shot from the bottle has to go kiss the birthday boy!" Maruyama cried.

The bottle was nearly empty, and Jun hurriedly had Yasuda fill up the shot glass lest he be declared the winner. He downed it to the sound of their cheers and moved away from Nino's clutches before he won the special prize or ended up doing something sexual with Nino in front of nearly a hundred people they knew.

He found Becky stumbling around Aiba's golf clubs, fully unwrapped and ignored now in the corner of the room. She was looking at her face in a 5-Iron. "Matsujun!" she cheered as he arrived. "Matsujun, this is a great party, even if it's for Aiba-kun of all people."

He nodded, still feeling the burning sting of the vodka in his throat and the feeling of Nino's drunken fumbling fingers on his backside. "I'm happy you were able to make it. Are you staying overnight?"

She looked away from staring at her reflection in the golf club to smile at him. "Because I pride myself on not being in the tabloids, you bet!" He watched her look over to where Bartender Aiba was spilling a shaker full of alcohol all over the carpet and laughing hysterically. "You know, I've worked with him for eight years, and we've only made out twice."

Jun nearly choked. "I...I didn't know that, Becky-chan." He hadn't wanted to know that, either.

She nodded, leaning against him and swaying a bit. "It's like...he's kind of weird, you know?"

"I know," he agreed.

"He's weird, but I...I mean, nobody kisses like he does..."

"Is that a fact?" Jun mumbled, growing more embarrassed. This was a night about Aiba, that was for sure, but it was quickly becoming an Aiba love fest that was making him uncomfortable. Even then Yokoyama was screaming in joy for having become the apparent victor in the vodka shot contest.

They watched Yoko stumble through the suite, Aiba's face lighting up at his friend's approach. "I'm going to kiss you on your face!" Yoko screamed, and people shoved him forward to help him along. Jun winced as he and Aiba collided heavily and fell to the floor, making exaggerated grunts and moans as they rolled around.

"I think Yokoyama just got further with Aiba than you did, no offense," Jun pointed out.

Becky laughed. "Well, all you Johnny's types really give it your all, don't you?"

"The night is still young. Maybe you'll get another chance," he said. "I'm going to check and make sure my other bandmates haven't gotten alcohol poisoning."

He moved on, bypassing Aiba's brother and about a dozen Aiba family cousins Jun hadn't remembered inviting, but it certainly explained why it was so noisy. It definitely justified Jun's reasoning in renting out the entire floor of the hotel.

Sho found him again, this time covered in chocolate frosting and missing his shirt. Jun stared at him for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. "Do I even want to know?"

Sho just smiled widely, his teeth covered in chocolate. "I met Aiba-kun's cousin Sachiko. She likes chocolate."

" _She_ likes it?"

"She likes me, too. Hey," he said, leaning close and getting chocolate all over the nice shirt Jun should have probably been smart enough not to wear that night. "Hey, do you have any...um, you know..."

"Follow me."

Sakurai Sho, now Chocolate Sho in Jun's mind, followed him from the suite to one of the rooms down the hall where Jun had been thoughtful enough to stock plenty of protection. You couldn't be too careful during a wild party. Jun wasn't the type for a one night stand, especially with a bandmate's cousin, but Sho had just finished a long drama shoot and was probably wanting to release some tension. Not that Jun needed the details.

He opened a drawer and tossed a box of condoms Sho's way. "There you go. Should I tell Aiba what you're doing with his cousin?"

Sho's eyes widened. "Don't you dare!"

He watched Sho run off excitedly, and Jun headed back to the party. Four bandmates to account for - Sho would be occupied for a while, Aiba was now mixing drinks without his pants on, and Ohno and Nino had disappeared. He looked around the suite, going room to room in increasing worry. The managers and staff had their hands full getting some of Aiba's guests down and out the back hotel exit. The Shimura Zoo crew had mostly departed, save for Becky who had finally moved away from the golf clubs to get closer to the pantsless bartender. The Kanjani group had found the TOKIO group, and a full-on Spin the Bottle war was now going down.

Jun headed back into the hall only after Nagase had forced three shots of something purple down his gullet in lieu of having to tongue kiss him, and he was increasingly losing control. His perfectly planned party had gone so well, he decided as the alcohol started to soak into his basic brain functions as well as his bloodstream. Maybe it was okay to finally relax a little.

He found one of the Aiba cousins lying on the hallway floor, giggling as he clutched the bottle of alcohol that Ohno had brought from India. He'd find Nino and Ohno, and they could enjoy the alcohol together instead of letting some random Aiba family member get through the whole bottle himself. Jun stumbled over, hoping he still looked a bit intimidating. "Hey," he shouted, "which one are you?"

"Aiba Kazuhiko!" the guy hiccuped, his voice and face a near carbon copy of his bandmate but a few years younger. "I love Arashi!"

"That's good to hear," he said, holding out his hand. "How about you hand me that bottle? Your cousin hasn't had any yet."

"Oh! I'm sorry."

Jun again didn't read the label, sliding along the corridor wall with the bottle in tow. Several of the rooms were in use, and Jun only hoped that people had taken advantage of the quote unquote Condom Room. He wasn't going to be responsible for any shotgun weddings and September babies, even if the country's birth rate was rather low.

He took a sip from the bottle, something he would not have done before those damned shots Nagase had given him, and the world seemed to be brighter once the liquid moved down his throat. It was exotic, like something he'd never tasted before. It was like a bottle full of candy, which only meant it was extremely bad for him. He held the bottle up closer for inspection, but his contacts were starting to itch and his vision was blurry. Oh well, Jun decided, he'd know when to stop.

One of the doors opened, and Leader came stumbling out. "There you are!" Jun said.

Ohno looked almost dead to the world. "Ah, hello," he managed to stammer out before sliding down to sit on the floor. "I threw up in there."

Jun frowned. "I hope you did so in the toilet. I don't want to cause any extra problems for the staff."

Leader ignored him, holding out his hand. "You found the stuff I brought from India."

Jun held the bottle close. "You just threw up. You are not having any more alcohol tonight."

Ohno looked genuinely sad. "But it's Aiba-chan's birthday."

"And you're going to be miserable tomorrow, and you're only allowed to be miserable tomorrow," Jun pointed out. "You get one hangover day, and we have Kouhaku rehearsals the day after that, so I'm putting my foot down."

He attempted to put his foot down to prove his point and only ended up crashing into the wall opposite Ohno.

"Maybe you should stop drinking too, Jun-kun."

Jun stumbled along, shaking his head as he took another long sip from the glorious Indian liquor, whatever it was. "For the record, Leader, I planned this party, and I can also plan my alcohol intake. So..." he slurred, gaining confidence, "so...as long as I still have my pants and I'm not covered in chocolate and I'm not making out with half of Kanjani8, I say down the hatch."

He took a long sip and fumbled with the next door, bringing himself and the bottle of Ohno's special liquor inside. He was feeling good, and the room was empty so he thought he'd shut his eyes for a minute so he could regain some energy before going to see where Nino had ended up. He was surely in need of Jun's finger by then...

He snorted loudly, flopping onto the bed with a laugh, the alcohol swishing around in the bottle. "Nino needs my finger!" he said to the empty room and continued giggling. He somehow managed to get the bottle onto the bedside table and laid back on the mattress with a happy sigh.

"Everybody needs my finger," he complained to the room. "...be no party without my finger in everything! Put...party together...work hard. 29 of each cookie!"

Jun was getting pissed off that the room wasn't speaking back in sympathy. In retaliation, he downed a good amount of Ohno's magical Indian liquor, and as soon as he felt like he was flying, his mind seemed to shut down. He remembered the way Nino's hands had felt, all possessive and needy. But he was the party planner, the show runner, and he couldn't give into temptation. But he could at least dream about it, he thought, drifting off...

\--

...and when he woke again, still pretty drunk, the room was dark but there was noise in the next bed. Before he could panic and announce his presence and hopefully exit, he heard an unmistakable sound. Something Jun hadn't heard since he'd shared a room with him that one time on tour, and Aiba had had a wet dream in the middle of the night. And sobriety started to quickly return to Matsumoto Jun.

Yes, it was definitely Aiba having sex with someone just a few feet away, and Jun wanted to throw up. He was pretty sure it wasn't just because of all the alcohol. He cringed as the bed next to him creaked and the headboard rattled and Aiba was making extremely private Aiba noises. There were additional, encouraging noises then, identifying Aiba's bed companion as female, and Jun froze.

"Oh, Aiba-kun!"

Aiba was having sex with _Becky_ five feet away, and he didn't dare move because he'd just end up embarrassing all three of them. So he shut his eyes tight, tried to think of anything but Aiba having sex. But unfortunately he was still out of sorts from the variety of alcohol he'd consumed, and he couldn't think at all. He covered his mouth and kept cringing. He'd just wanted Aiba to have a great birthday, but he didn't need to be privy to this sort of thing.

"Becky...oh, Becky..."

"Aiba-kun! There, there!"

And just when Jun thought Aiba was going to finish and pass out, it got _weird_.

"My tiger!" Becky started to shout. "You're my tiger!"

Jun opened his eyes wide, feeling like his brain was melting. Eight years on a zoo show, and this was the terrifying result.

"Rawr!" Aiba screamed back, and Jun thought the bed beside him would break. "Rawr! You like that? You're my tiger princess!"

"My tiger! Roar for me!"

Jun was pretty sure he would never be able to look Aiba in the eye ever again. Or poor Becky for that matter. And to think, she'd always been such a sweet girl...

"I'm the king of your jungle!" Aiba declared.

"That's a lion!" Jun complained before realizing that he'd said so out loud.

The creaking in the other bed came to an abrupt halt.

Nobody said anything.

More silence.

Jun then did his best to bolt, scrambling to get the bottle of Indian alcohol off the nightstand and hurrying from the room. He stumbled over a bra and some boxers on the floor, letting out a horrified yelp before making it to the door and rushing into the hall. He slammed the door behind him.

"Matsujun?"

He looked down, seeing Sho lying stark naked on the hall carpet, his ass sticking up in the air, and he looked away quickly. "Ah, Sho-kun...I...I wasn't in there..."

His bandmate looked up with a groan. "I don't know where my underwear went..."

Good. At least Sho was in no state of mind to realize that Jun had been in the same room as Aiba and Becky. Jun stepped over him and continued down the hall. Managers. He had to find their managers. He had let his guard down, his Official Party Host guard down. He was a terrible person. But all he could think of was naked Chocolate Sho and Aiba the tiger king of the jungle and Nino's groping promises and how much he now wished he'd gone in favor of having a few bottles of champagne and nothing else. Of course, he still had the bottle of stuff from Leader in his hand but that didn't count, he decided.

Instead of finding managers in the suites he found half of Johnny's lying on the floor groaning in drunken contentment, most of them asleep with various members of the Aiba family scattered amongst them. Leader was curled up between Ohkura-kun and Maruyama and using a tablecloth as a blanket for all three of them. Well, at least he knew where three of his four bandmates were now: having bizarre sex, naked in the hallway, or sleeping in a stinky Kanjani8 drunken pile.

It had been a while since he'd seen Nino. And Nino probably still needed him. Nino still needed his finger. He found one of the suite doors open in one of the unoccupied parts of the party floor, and the cold night air was rushing in. It felt good, and he saw the door was propped open with the putter they'd bought for Aiba. Jun found Nino out on the balcony staring out at the night sky.

"It's cold out here. You'll get sick," Jun complained, sitting down with his back to the wall at his bandmate's side.

Nino sighed. "I woke up with Nagase passed out on top of me. And before you ask, no, my pants were still on."

Jun sighed too. "I woke up with Aiba having noisy sex in the other bed."

Nino held out his hand and Jun passed him the bottle of Indian liquor. "Better the bed next to you than the one you're in." He took a long swig from the bottle. "Not that he's ever pulled that shit with me before or anything."

Jun shuddered. "Why did we throw a party for him again? Everyone's passed out and will be assholes in the morning, Sho-kun's naked and disoriented in the hallway, I ordered 29 different kinds of cheese and nobody ate it..."

Nino leaned over until his head was resting on Jun's shoulder. "Because despite all logic, we love Aiba Masaki with all our hearts and wanted him to be happy."

"I think I ruined his happiness by interrupting him mid-tiger sex."

Nino set the bottle down noisily. "What?"

"Never mind," Jun said. "You know, it may be Aiba's birthday party, but I've been thinking about you a lot tonight."

Nino's fingers curled around Jun's knee. "Oh?"

"Mostly about the way you are when you're stupid drunk. I've been wandering around the party all night thinking about shoving my finger down your throat."

"That's sexy."

He chuckled. "I know, right?"

"Maybe the next time there's a party, I'll get drunk enough so you can attend to me in my hour of need." Nino passed the bottle back. "Here."

Jun took another long sip. Now that he'd sobered up a bit from the cold air, he nearly spat it back out. "The hell is this, jet fuel?" He got up and looked at the bottle more closely under the moonlight. "150 proof? Jesus, I put this in my body?" He upended the bottle over one of the plants on the balcony, emptying its contents. Lesson learned - don't accept strange alcohol that Leader found.

Nino slowly got to his feet. "You planned a good party, J. Even if nobody ate your cheese."

Jun stretched, hearing various parts of him pop. "But the party's over, and I think I'm ready for bed. In a locked room. Without Aiba in it."

"I hear that."

They left the balcony, clambering over the drunken guests. Together, they found a spare tablecloth and dropped it over Sho's sleeping, heavily snoring body in the hallway, but not before Nino snapped a photo of Sho's bare ass with his cellphone camera for "future nefarious purposes."

The only room on the floor that wasn't occupied was the infamous Condom Room, and Nino followed him inside, shutting and locking the door behind them. The room dedicated to encouraging safe sex had been well-ransacked, only three flavored condoms and a pocket-sized bottle of lubricant remaining. No September babies then, Jun hoped.

He stripped down to his underwear and fumbled his way under the sheets while Nino poked his way around the room. "Come on, bed time. We'll have to get up and make sure everyone gets home safely in the morning."

Nino picked up one of the last foil wrappers and smiled. "It's still Aiba-chan's not-birthday. You've been so busy taking care of everyone else that you haven't taken care of yourself."

Jun sighed. "One of my bandmates had sex with Aiba's cousin. And another had sex five feet away from me. And now you want me to have sex with you."

Nino stripped down himself, easing his way under the covers next to him with a smirk. "Aw, come on. You're the one who said you wanted to stick your finger in my mouth. That you thought about it all night."

"It wasn't in that sort of context."

"Come on," Nino said, prodding his leg with his ice cold toes. "Come on then. We can still blame it on the alcohol tomorrow if we get going right now. Come on, everyone else at this party got laid or completely trashed in celebration of Aiba-chan's existence, why can't we?"

Jun moved his finger to Nino's lips to try and silence him, but the jerk only opened his mouth to let Jun's digit slide in. Well, that did it. "Fine," Jun said in irritation, yanking his finger back before Nino started to suck on it. "Fine already."

"You always give in," Nino said before turning to face him. Their mouths met, and Nino's breath was probably just as gross as his own was, but it wouldn't really be an Arashi party without something to pretend to forget happened come morning. He put thoughts of his other bandmates aside as best he could, focusing on the pleased noises emanating from Nino as he pressed onward to suck and nip at his neck.

Nino was just as nimble as he'd been earlier that night, his hand deftly finding its way into Jun's boxers, and he groaned at the touch. Things were going well finally, which meant that they had to end.

Because Jun had obviously forgotten what room was on the other side of the Condom Room, and Nino's hand immediately stilled inside Jun's underwear at the sudden but continuous thumping of a headboard against the wall.

"Oh no," Jun murmured. "He knows...he so knows I'm in here."

Nino sighed, pressing a disappointed kiss to Jun's temple. "Why did we throw him a party again?"

They both settled close together under the covers, too busy holding pillows over their heads to have sex. Instead, they did their best to muffle the noise from the other room.

"Now I'm a bear!" Aiba was shouting. Even with the wall between them, his voice sure could carry. "And I'm coming for your honey!"

"Next year," Nino muttered, "next year he only gets ten kinds of cheese. No exceptions."

Jun groaned, pressing the pillow tighter over his head. Such was the life of the man who planned the party.

"Next year he gets no cheese."


End file.
